So You Live With a Bar Studier

Bar studiers don’t make the best roommates. They are stressed out, irritable, and irrational. On the plus side, they won’t be throwing loud parties or having lots of guests over.

What Your Bar Studier is Going Through

It’s important to understand that studying for the bar exam is an all-consuming endeavor. You may think that your roommate is exaggerating about how much time they need to devote to studying, but they aren’t. Bar study requires a level of lengthy focused attention unlike most other tasks. They really do need to eliminate distractions (and everything is a distraction). They also really won’t be able to do extra chores, and may not end up having time to do some of the chores they typically take on. Remember that this is just a short period of time 2.5 months. There are a lot of ups and downs in bar study, as one set of practice questions may go well, and the next one may feel like a disaster. Once they get through it, they will return to their charming, helpful selves.

A Few Tips For A Happy Home

  1. Communicate with your bar studier about their needs, and make yours clear as well. Really listen to them. Try to be accommodating. Set up ground rules and boundaries. Remember that it is not forever. If you help them get through this period, your relationship will be stronger than ever.
  2. Don’t get on their case if everything is not as clean and tidy as it usually is, but definitely don’t make them clean up after you. They don’t have time for that. They will barely have time to clean up after themselves and do their own laundry.
  3. Be as quiet as you can. Music, TV, and even conversations can seem louder to a bar studier than they actually are when they are trying to focus on studying. Try to respect their need for quiet, and work out rules with them in advance. It’s especially important not to interrupt their sleep so that they can get enough rest to carry them through long days of studying.
  4. Be encouraging. Little notes with positive affirmations and motivational sayings can go a long way. It’s really nice to know someone believes in you when you are struggling with a difficult task that takes a toll on your confidence.
  5. Give them space, but also let them know you’re there. Most of the time bar studiers will want space to do what they need to do. It’s a time when they need to be very focused and selfish. But, they also need breaks, and sometimes someone to vent to, so let them know you’re there if they want to talk or hang out.